What is Positive Behavior Support all about?
I will never forget the time I was sharing my preschool parenting woes with a fellow preschool mom and also fellow educator. At one point in my long drawn out rant she asked me if I was using PBS in my approach. Silly me, I thought she mean the channel PBS, you know like Public Broadcast System. I told her Barney was not my thing and she just laughed!
She was referring to Positive Behavior Support also referred to as Positive Discipline. I future blogs I will refer back to Positive Behavior Support (PBS) a lot, so I figure now is a good time to give you to 411 on what positive discipline is and what are the staples into developing this type of discipline in your home and child’s life.
What is PBS?
Positive Behavior Support is effective with our little ones because it is different from traditional or conventional discipline. It has nothing to do with punishment, which is often times partnered and thought of hand in hand with discipline. It does have everything to do with teaching your child very valuable life skills!
This type of discipline with young children involved sharing what you will do and then kindly, but firmly following through, rather than expecting your child to fall in line. As your child becomes more mature and cognitively developed, you will be able to involve him or her in the process of focusing on solutions and participating setting his or him limits.
In this way, he or she can be practicing thinking skills, feel more capable and learn to his autonomy is useful ways. Understanding the building blocks of PBS will support you as you build relationships of love and respect with your child and will also help you solve problems together for years to come.
The Building Blocks of PBS:
• R E S P E C T – Parents model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation at hand. They also model kindness and respect the needs of the child.
• Behind the Behavior – All human behavior has a purpose. You will be way more effective at changing your child’s behavior when you understand the motivation for it. Your little one started creating the beliefs that form their personality from the very day they were born. Dealing with the belief is as important, maybe even more important, than dealing with the behavior.
• Effective Communication – Parents and children can learn to listen well and use respectful words to ask for what they need. Parents learn that children will hear them better when they are invited and encouraged to think and participate instead of being told what to say and do. Parents learn along the way, modeling what they expect from their children.
• Your Child’s Perspective – Your child will go through different stages of development by learning about the developmental tasks your child faces day in and day out. Each child is unique as in the roles they play in their lives contribute to their way of thinking
• Discipline with purpose- Effective discipline teaches valuable social skills and life skills that are not permissive or punitive.
• Focus on the solution, not the punishment – Blame never solves problems. Decide how to approach the challenges an problems. Then, as your child grows and develops you lean to work together to find respectful and helpful solutions the problems you face. This will help from everything from spilled milk, sharing and the bed time struggles.
• High Five Time – Encouragement celebrates effort and improvements, not just success and also helps children build their confidence in their own abilities.
As we continue to share more about PBS down the road, we hope this give you a little insight into the building blocks of how it works and how we build the relationships in the classroom and in your homes!
It took me time to shift my way of thinking and I realized my I no longer needed to lecture or nag. We built our relationship on cooperating and building my children’s thinking skills. I understand my children do not have the same priorities as me, but there is mutual respect and an understanding to comply when the request are on their developmental level. PBS had made a positive change in our home and school life!